You spend your childhood wishing you were a grown up. Dreaming of what your career will be where you will live and how many kids you will have. I remember I had the perfect plan, I was to be married at 23 and have my kids by 25 and would live happily ever after with my 3 kids and hubby. Interesting enough in that perfect plan, my career was left as an unknown. To this day I really can’t remember dreaming of BEING something, not a doctor, not a lawyer. But I did know I was doing something. Maybe that should have been my first sign.

As I grew up and headed to college I decided I was going to be a Physical Therapist and that lasted up to my junior of college. After two semesters of Physics, and half a semester of Physiology I decided, being a therapist just wasn’t for me. So I struggled trying to find the right path, with the right amount of courses so as to not delay my graduation.

I kind of liked art and design so I took a few courses in drawing, a couple in photography and the only digital imaging course, but I still felt it wasn’t the best place for me. I was itching to find some web design courses, because I found it so interesting but there weren’t any classes yet (that’s probably showing my age a bit). A year left in school I had to find something, so I stumbled into the journalism department and that is where I found my major.

Writing had always been in the back of mind, I was writing feature length screenplays when I was a sophomore in high school. Picked up a Syd Field book during the summer and just started writing and couldn’t stop. I never showed anyone my work, not once. Not until I met my husband, but that’s another story.

So I decided I would major in journalism and it fit perfectly into my graduation schedule. I chose an option in public relations, because becoming a news reporter didn’t interest me much. I imagined being shipped off and thrown in the middle of a hurricane, or dropped in a war zone just to get the “story.” I am much to chicken for that.

When I graduated with my public relations degree, I found myself looking for a “creative job” but all that was really available were positions on the account executive side and I certainly didn’t have the “creative” experience. So I took a job “job”, one that paid the bills. Funny how those don’t seem to last long, but it did inspire me to learn web design and development, I bought a ton of books, bought (borrowed) a ton of programs and eventually got a creative job and have been working in the web development field since.

I don’t know how this post got so long; blame it on the lack of sleep or the Clariton.  But my point was that I finally realize why my career was such an unknown in my dreams.  I am beginning to believe that it wasn’t meant for me to be a “worker.” I think I was, I am meant to be an entrepreneur. I see now that the two things that I loved the most, were two things that I sought out to learn on my own. I love writing, more specifically I love screenwriting and I love designing, but more specifically I love freelance design work.

So where does that leave me. Well…

For now I still have bills to pay and kids to feed. So I’m still living the double life. But at least now I feel like I’m heading down the right path. Even if that path is different then what I planned when I was 10.  I have a blooming online store that combines all of my favorite skills and interests, I have a blog, to vent and discover new things. Call it free therapy. And I have two wonderful kids and a great husband. I am starting to see the light, give me change to just breathe.

To age myself back down – they started the program a semester after I made my decision and I didn’t want to wait another year to graduate.

Tagged as: mommy rant, Mompreneur